As an older adult, we tend to talk about how it was, the way “we” used to do things.
Parents and neighbors would step in and correct a child and give them a “whoopin”. Our generation downs the new generations, stating they are disrespectful and lazy.
The problem with that philosophy is our times and surroundings were different. We can’t apply the same mindsets to the kids of today that we were subject to. As coaches, we do the same thing. We shouldn’t and can’t. It’s not the same.
Family dynamics are different. Music is stranger. Social media did not exist in our youth. But the heart of man stays the same.
This past weekend, the Whiteville High Basketball staff and I took the basketball team out of town for two weekend tournaments in the Triad Area, one on Saturday and one on Sunday. Taking someone else’s kids out of town is stressful. Their behavior and safety are paramount. But these kids kept the stress away. These student-athletes chose to be well-behaved student athletes.
The weekend made me realize, maybe we as coaches don’t always have to be authoritative or a Vince Lombardi. Today’s kids are full of respect. You can trust them. I then realized some wins are not in the win-loss column, but in our hearts.
After our first day, we took the team to Golden Corral in Greensboro. After our meal, one of our players saw two twin girls celebrating their birthday party with their family. They got to talking and asked if they could sing happy birthday to the twins and give them some money for a present. No adult told them to do this!
The team took up money, sang happy birthday, and gave the little girls the cash present. Two little children were happy.
On Sunday, after our games at Bermuda Run in Winston-Salem, the team wanted hamburgers and chose an upscale restaurant.
The food and atmosphere was strange to a group of teenagers, as the restaurant had a jazz band performing and a menu that was not fast food. The group was still very mature and respectful despite being in a strange place.
As coaches, you need discipline but this made me realize: Don’t quash their spirit!
Trust your kids. Forget sports; children need an ear, an eye, a heart and someone to show they care. They are smart, decisive, and hard working if you give them some love and trust. When they leave our watch whether its at home or a gym, we have to trust them. We don’t know what they go through when they are not around us. Bullying, drugs, gangs, etc. – It’s all out there waiting for them.
Our kids look to us for trust and faith. We have to give it back to them. They can handle it. They will handle it. They are going to be all right. I believe in them.
Oh, by the way, we won four out of five games this weekend.
But for me, I saw a bunch more victories.
